Here and Now
by Ruby Raze
Summary: pg-13 for language... namely IY's mouth! ^_^... (rating may change)... inuyasha yells at kagome for nearly getting hurt... hurtful things were said and now she's leaving him for good... she's sick of him mistreating her!... will he rea
1. Default Chapter

Prologue  
  
Kagome came running up the stairs blinded by her tears. Tripping and stumbling on her way up she nearly fell quite a few times, but made it up safely after several stops.  
  
~~FLASHBACK~~  
  
"You stupid bitch! Now look what you did! You made me lose the jewel shard and you nearly got killed! If you died then who would find the rest of the jewel shards?" Inuyasha berated Kagome for trying to help during the battle with the kitsune he had just defeated.  
  
"But Inuyasha. I was only trying to help!" Kagome pleaded with Inuyasha.  
  
"Feh" was Inuyasha's only reply.  
  
As Kagome's eyes began to tear up she turned around and bolted sitting Inuyasha so that by the time she made it to the well the spell would just be wearing off. Sobbing uncontrollably she jumped down the well.  
  
~~END FLASHBACK~~  
  
Sitting at her desk she began to write, pouring her heart and soul into this letter. She would leave it for him tomorrow with Kaede, hopefully she wouldn't run into him while she was there.  
A/N: lo siento.that was really short but yea. R+R! ^_^. lemme know what you think!.. adios, sayonara! 


	2. Slowly Killing Herself

Disclaimer: I DO NOT. EMPHASIS DO NOT OWN IY. OR ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS.. BUT THE STORY IS MINE!  
  
A/N:. I know I put romance. but with the way I've been lately I just cant find it in me to write a romance. all I can find is angst. so that's what I'm gunna write.  
  
~begin transmission~  
  
The next day Kaede handed Inuyasha a note. It read as follows:  
  
Inuyasha, I can't understand why you treat me the way you do! You really hurt me and no matter what I do all I get in return is insults. I love you. I really do, but what you're doing is killing me. I can't keep coming back to you anymore! So this is goodbye. I wish you well Inuyasha!  
  
Love always, Kagome  
  
"What the fuck is this shit?!" the aforementioned hanyou screamed out of sheer frustration at his own stupidity.  
  
After he uttered those words he dropped the sheet of paper, but before he could walk away something caught his eye. There was something on the back of the paper. He began reading.  
  
Lost  
  
A treasured gift was lost today Lost to my dismay Searching now from day to day for the intangible Never stopping, never thinking Mindlessly wandering from place to place Searching for the intangible That day I left it stayed behind Never to return I refuse to return to you So now I burn I burn with anger and hatred to fill the void of my missing heart My happiness, my love I was forced to abandon them that day That day I left with a broken heart Now I wander from day to day In search of something that cannot be found  
  
He was speechless after he read that. His eyes scanned the paper to find his place and started reading the second one.  
  
Here and Now  
  
Here and now I confess to you Something draws me to you Even though you made me cry countless times, I still love you I love watching you, I love your sweet smile, but I love it most of all when you're sweet to me You were cruel to me through it all You only tolerated me because you were using me And still my heart wont give up on you You, the jerk who used me for your own selfish gain Still something draws me to you Even though I know you don't love me I bare my soul to you here and now My heart refuses to give up on you though my head already has If I died you'd only care because you're still not through with me You don't care about me, I know And still something draws me to you Still your face haunts me in my dreams Haunts my very soul So I'm cutting that part of my heart and soul out I tell you here and now I refuse to love someone who doesn't care I refuse to be drawn to you like a moth to the flame  
  
'What have I done?' he thought in dismay before running away.  
  
~~back in kag's time~~  
  
It's been a month since she decided to return to her time for good and Kagome's depression still hasn't left her. If anything it's only gotten worse. Everyone was starting to get worried about her because she never smiled anymore and rarely ever spoke unless spoken to and even then she answer in one syllable words. Little did her family know, but she had begun cutting herself to try to alleviate some of her loneliness and grief. Everything had just gotten to be too much to bear. She was starting to scare herself, it was getting to the point that she was planning out her own death in detail. Not only the things she'd think, but also the things she'd write were starting to scare her. She didn't really know why. She sat there re-reading her last poem to herself to see if she wanted to make any changes. She didn't' have a title for this one yet.  
  
Gilded tears falling into a river of blood Forced from the eyes of the naïve Forced from the eyes of the pained, tortured souls Torrents of gilded tears overflowing the already full river of blood  
  
Living life by the edge of a razor sharp blade Creating and overflowing that river of blood Crying those gilded tears Torturing an already tortured soul even further Being forced even further over the edge  
  
Promising myself never to cry those gilded tears again Resorting to living by the razor sharp edge of a blade Basking in the warm light of the smiling sun Trying to forget And hiding from the pearlescent tears of the moon Never wanting to watch For they remind me of my own gilded tears  
  
Broken promise Crying gilded tears for being stuck in a rusty cage Life's torments never cease A rusty cage with crumbling bars Quite similar to my crumbling life But even more similar to my crumbling heart  
  
Crying gilded  
  
. "No, no" she said and scratched it out and continued.  
  
Forcing myself to smile through those gilded tears Trying to mimic the smiling sun But like all things, that smile will eventually fade Even through my smile you can see my tortured soul If you don't you must be blind to miss the fact  
  
"No." before the last line she inserted:  
  
My pain-filled eyes And continued.  
  
Searching for a way out of this rusty cage  
  
She concluded. "Something's missing at the end though. hmm," she said to herself.  
  
So I can fly away form the river of blood I created and my gilded tears  
  
"No I don't like it" she said crossing out the last line and decided to go to bed. It was 3:00 AM and she had to be up by 5:00 to get ready for school. She hadn't been sleeping much. Tomorrow was going to be a lone day.  
  
~~~~~~~~**^_^**~~~~~~~  
  
That night, little did Kagome know, but she was being watched. What that figure saw was a pale, thin figure of a girl hunched over her desk writing. It broke his heart to see her like that. For the past 2 weeks he'd been watching her and to watch her slowly kill herself was torture for him.  
A/N: so how was it?? 


End file.
